MacDuff Studio | The Wait

The Wait

July 05, 2018  •  Leave a Comment

The Wait can mean nine months of pregnancy.

For me, the first Wait was 16 years.

The_Wait._July_2018-3  SIG FRAMEThe_Wait._July_2018-3 SIG FRAME

I was late for my cycle and was hoping again that I might have conceived, but I knew that I hadn't. I'd hoped for 16 years!

I was feeling nauseated and it was increasing by the day. Sore chest. Tired. But I figured I had the flu.

For about a week I got sicker and sicker. Then one day at work I started needing the loo every 30 minutes. Oh great! I've also got a bladder infection! But then I remembered my mother had an over-active bladder early in her pregnancies. In fact it was her first sign that she was pregnant.

That day at work I decided it was time to get tested. I went to the local hospital where they ran free pregnancy tests. I was taken back and given a cup to urinate in. I handed the sample to the nurse and was lead back to the waiting room. I sat and waited for my news.

My thoughts were all over the place! I bet I'm really pregnant this time! I'm nauseated and getting worse by the day! Running to pee! No cycle! It MUST BE!

Then reality set it. No WAY is this happening to ME! It's been too long to turn up pregnant now! Sixteen years....!

I saw the nurse walking toward me with a smile on her face. She simply handed me the paper with a box check POSITIVE on it! I very calmly said thank you, took the paper and headed toward the door to the hall. Two steps out the door and I had tears in my eyes. Another few steps and I was waiting at the elevator with more tears.  Two floors lower and I had tears running down my cheeks and was beginning to gasp like a child who'd lost their cookie. The elevator doors opened and I stepped out and was walking down the hall toward the door to the parking lot. People who were walking toward me stopped and looked at me as I was now crying buckets, gasping, and trying unsuccessfully to get control of myself.

I made it to my car and climbed in. As I sat there continuing to cry, I all of a sudden realized that I actually had a baby growing inside me at that exact moment! I put my hand gently on my abdomen and said ."Hi baby! Hi"

Then my next "The Wait" began. It was a glorious time! Perfect! I loved my belly as it grew. The kicks. Hearing the heartbeat.

Our son was born right on time. He's 21 years old now and still bringing us complete joy!

The drawing isn't a representation of me. It's every woman.

Children are the purpose of my life. I'm sure many other women agree, and men too of course.

I adopted a son as well and his story is beautiful as well. I'll draw that one day.

Drop me a comment if you'd like to!

Thanks for stopping by!

Karen MacDuff Squires





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